So first, I wanna say, I can tell you really put a lot of work into it. There’s some really interesting stuff here. But I have a lot of questions? Firstly, why would this rich man fall in love with Blanche if she pretends not to care about his money?And the part where we’re told she spends the day with his kids? I think you need to show that, not just tell. Although the decision to not accept his hand in marriage because she doesn’t want to be a mother to his kids recalls a modern take on Edith Whartonian tropes.
However, the other characters, Dorothy and Rose, seemed a little flat. You might want to round them out a little more? Rose had nothing to say except strange stories from the farm and Dorothy just seemed angry all the time. What were you going for having the two women insist on re-plumbing the bathroom themselves? Was that a metaphor for women’s liberation? maybe you needed more conflict between what these characters want and what they can achieve. I’d like to see them at a four, you have them here at about an eight.
I actually found Lou, the plumber, the most intriguing. Why was he so angry that these women wanted to fix the bathrooms themselves? Did that come from some internalized rejection by his mother for his chosen profession? I’d say take out the old lady and give us more of Lou’s backstory.
It’s an admirable first draft. I can’t wait to see the rewrites.
When Dorothy was a baby, she tried to breastfeed off of Sophia’s cameo.
Sophia brings her bamboo purse with her even when she goes to the bathroom.
The gals shower has no curtain, and is turned on by a handle next to the sink. Huh?
Fashion awards! Blanche was killin’ it in this episode.
The ladies being feminist and doing what’s best for their own lives aside, my general review of this episode: